I am sitting in my living room at 12:02 am in complete darkness listening to the kids tv blaring as they sleep, the wind is whispering outside the windows, a humidifier is buzzing down the hall, and I can't sleep. My mind is racing in several different directions. Occasionally the sound of a car races by my house. I'm wondering why I feel so lost. I have felt like something in my life isn't as it should be. I am not doing anything wrong. I am just so overwhelmed with ideas and strategy I can't move. It is like I am frozen in time and just getting lost in the shuffle and hustle of baseball tournaments, tball games, end of year programs, field trips, business decisions, ministry decisions, working out, and anything else you throw at us on a daily basis. I know none of you reading this feel the same way.
I met with a dear friend of mine this week and we discussed all that was going on with our lives. We talked about all the things interfering with what we should be doing. I began to feel a strong sense of stress and conviction in my heart.
You see, the reason I am so out of sorts, God isn't where he should be in my life. I have allowed time, effort, energy, and desire to get in the way of His place in my life. I haven't been the spiritual leader in my home that I should be. My quiet time has been taken over by sleep and car rides for work. My scriptural desire has been replaced with strategic planning sessions and a desire of success. I have replaced God with DVR recordings and conversations about business decisions. I haven't done it on purpose, but it has happened. My wife and I have replaced good conversation about the direction in our marriage with deciding where the kids are going so we can make all the events we have placed at such a huge priority in life.
Where is God in all this? I think we have just set him on the shelf and forgot Him. I truly believe we have done this without malice towards our beliefs and love for Him. We just have gotten too busy.
Tonight I laid in bed and prayed to God to help me. To guide me. To give me the courage to make the changes necessary in my life to be what I told Him I would be when I answered the call He has on my life. I begged His forgiveness. I asked Him to work in Heather's heart and my heart and bring us closer to Him and each other. I pleaded with Him to help me stand as a man of God in front of my children no matter where we are. I prayed he would give me the courage to leap and become the leader He needs me to be outside of the home. I asked Him to guide me in the decisions I need to make.
Maybe you feel the same way I do....But tonight, God has taken over and I am resting in the shadow of the Almighty...
It is time for us to do what God has called us to do...No matter how crazy it may seem....
Psalm 91
1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
3 Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 “Because he[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
